How My Spiritual Journey and Faith in God Started
Post Updated: December 15, 2023
My spiritual journey started at a young age, but it wasn’t until my teens that I started believing in God and having faith.
Over the years, I have done a lot of soul searching in hopes of discovering who I am and what beliefs are my own and not influenced by others.
What feels right in my heart to believe in.
Let me tell you, it is not an easy journey to be on. Especially when we live in a world that is constantly trying to influence us.
Keep reading for more about how my spiritual journey and faith in God started
The start of my spiritual journey
I grew up Catholic, although now I consider myself more spiritual than religious.
Religion feels too strict for me, compared to just being free spirited and still believing in God.
I attended church every Sunday and went to Sunday school.
I was taught that God is the creator of the heavens, earth, and universe.
They told me how powerful He is, and how everything is in His control.
I didn’t fully understand what it really meant to have faith. After all, I was only 10.
At that age, I HATED being forced to go to church and believe in something that I didn’t yet have an understanding of.
Instantly, I became afraid of something that I could not see, hear, or touch, but was told was there.
I am still very much God-fearing today, but in a different way.
Around this time I stopped going to church and never really went back.
As I grew older, I never understood why I had to go to church just to prove I believe in God.
My faith should not be based on whether I go to church or not.
I still feel this very same way today and that is something I don’t think will change.
In my teens, I became pretty rooted in faith.
Once I got older, I knew in my heart God existed, and if I wanted to reach Him and have a stronger relationship with Him, I need to pray.
People will tell you, if you want something, to pray for it. If you are was feeling lost, to pray for guidance.
Just PRAY and God will be there to answer your prayers, but it doesn’t always work that way.
That’s not to say that God hasn’t done some extremely amazing things in my life, but we don’t always get what we pray for.
Sometimes, we get MORE than what we pray for.
Other times, we are given a fraction of it to see if we can handle our blessing.
[Related Post: God Isn’t Going to Save Me, I Have to Save Myself]
When I was 16, I briefly attended a Sunday class at a Christian church with a friend.
I can’t remember why I stopped going, but during my time there I can honestly say that I enjoyed it.
We even went on a retreat in an attempt to build a stronger relationship with God!
One thing I specifically remember from those classes was a concept that went something along the lines of “You can’t ask God WHY something happens.”
That bothers me, even till this day.
What do you mean I can’t ask WHY?!
That’s all people want to know when something bad happens is WHY?!”
It didn’t make sense to me.
It’s not a spiritual journey if you Don’t Questioning EVERYTHING
As I got older and started to have a better understanding of God and faith, I began to question EVERYTHING!
I still question everything, because let’s be honest, there’s A LOT of things that don’t make sense to me when it comes to God.
And I’m sure there’s other people who feel the same way I do.
I never questioned the existence of God, I know He’s real.
I question why He allows things to happen the way they do.
Everything from why do bad things happen to good people or why do innocent people die so suddenly, are thoughts that ALWAYS cross my mind.
I’m not like other people who just accept God’s terms and conditions.
My mind doesn’t work that way because I have a question for EVERYTHING.
The only thing people ever really say is, “That’s just the way it is with God.”
I wanted answers for things that were happening to me, especially for the things that I did NOT have control over.
I could never understand the times when bad things would happen for what seemed like no apparent reason at all.
To me, it seemed like God was making me suffer and punishing me on purpose!
“God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” people say.
I honestly just felt like God didn’t like me.
Learning to have faith and Trust God on your Spiritual journey
When God places obstacles in your life, it’s meant to shape you into a better person.
Sometimes I feel like tough times leave me so broken, it makes the process of rebuilding myself so much harder.
Nobody said the journey would be easy, just that it would be worth it.
When I go through rough times and can’t seem to find a glimmer of hope in the mess, I get angry with God.
I know He knows I can’t handle it.
I remember reading something that said “It’s ok for us to be angry with God because he can handle it.”
However, there’s times when we can’t be mad at him for things that we HAVE control over.
Meaning, we have to acknowledge the things that we do wrong and take responsibility for them.
I always say that if you do wrong, God will punish you. Or karma if you will.
If you are a good person, then good things will generally happen for you.
But if you have hate in your heart and constantly spread negativity, then your life will certainly be miserable.
I’ve learned over the years that God will guide you on your journey through life, but ultimately it’s up to YOU to make good choices and lead a positive life.
Although I do have my moments when I feel like I’m losing faith, that doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t believe in God.
I can honestly look back at times and say “Ahh yes now it makes sense” but there are also many times that I keep looking back and don’t understand why something happened.
The Spiritual Journey Continues.
Today, I still try to make sense of things.
I’m still trying to discover who I am and who I am meant to be.
If I have learned anything, it’s that God has a purpose for me, even though it may not seem like it at times.
Because why else am I here on this planet? It’s not because of chance, it has to be for a reason.
Sometimes I struggle to believe, other times I am forever grateful for the workings of God.
It’s all part of this beautiful journey called life.
So wherever you are on your spiritual journey, keep praying, keep believing, and never lose sight of faith.
