Being Bullied in School for the First Time

OCTOBER IS NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION MONTH.

My personal experience being bullied in middle school.

Post Updated: September 28, 2023

Starting middle school and being bullied for the first time

The group of friends that I had decided that they no longer wanted to be friends so they wrote me these pretty nasty letters. Your modern day text message if you will.

I don’t remember what they said exactly but it was along the lines of calling me ugly and stupid. I read them and just stood there dumbfounded.

I was so confused as to why they did this to me and why they didn’t want to be my friends anymore. Tears started to fill my eyes.

I guess I didn’t get the hint quick enough when one of them turned around, looked me dead in my face and said “LEAVE! We don’t fucking like you!”

The rest of that day was a blur. I remember Christmas break was about to start and for me it was a relief that I didn’t have to see these girls for two whole weeks.

This was also back when we didn’t have cell phones or social media so when you went home. The only way you were communicating with someone was a landline.

Safe at Home

Being at home was my safe zone, but I knew I couldn’t stay there forever.

I never told any adults what happened that day. For some strange reason I kept the letters. Almost like I was looking for closure or at least try to make sense of why they wrote them.

I remember laying in bed crying because I truly couldn’t understand why people were so mean.

Let’s be honest, I still don’t understand why people are mean and I am now in my 30’s…

I remember looking out the window one night and I saw a full moon.

At that moment, at the age of 12, I wished I could kill myself.

One of the good things about being depressed when you’re young back then, I didn’t know how to commit suicide and I’m SO thankful for that.

But I will never forget that feeling… no 12 year old should EVER feel like that.

Returning to school

Winter break came and went and I was DREADING going back to school.

As a middle schooler, there is nothing scarier than going to school and not having ANY friends to be with during lunch.

Looking back, we laugh at ourselves because all we want now as adults is to be alone and would rather that than be surrounded by bad company.

I remember finding bleachers in the far distance of the school grounds next to the basketball courts. There I went during lunch and sat by myself.

I was living in Arizona at the time so it was warm weather all year around and students spent lunch outside most of the time.

I got through Monday and thought it wasn’t so bad and if I had to, I could do it again. This lasted about a week.

I remember a popular 8th grade girl saw me and approached me. She recognized me because we rode the same bus together and asked me why was I sitting by myself.

I explained to her what happened. I showed her the letters, still not understanding why I kept those disgusting things.

She was so upset that somebody had such bad blood to do such a thing. She told me that I needed to stand up to those mean girls and tell them that what they did was wrong.

I’m not confrontational AT ALL! So I already knew I wasn’t ever going to stand up to them, not on my own anyway.

When lunch was over, she told me once more that I needed to stand up for myself and then we went to our classes.

Confronting the Bullies

On the final day of sitting alone, the same 8th grader that found me the first time came over and said, “Why are you STILL sitting by yourself?!”

She seemed to be more angry than me!

I just stuttered “I don’t know” and then she told me that we were going to go find these girls RIGHT NOW and DEMAND that they apologize for what they did to me.

I didn’t want to find them. I had come to terms with the fact that they did what they did and I was ok with sitting alone during lunch.

Once we found them, she began to tell them how awful they were for doing such a disgusting thing towards a friend.

“This is NOT ok!” she said, and so much more that I don’t remember. The girls began crying and so did I.

They instantly realized what they had done wrong and apologized for it. They told me they were so sorry for hurting me and that they would never do it again.

They kept their word and I never had an issue with them again.

The aftermath of being bullied

After this happened, a teacher at the school began to question me about what happened and asked to read these letters.

Someone must have told him what happened, but it damn sure wasn’t me! I was referred to the school counselor because of this bullying incident.

The school never did anything about this incident by the way. I don’t remember the girls ever getting disciplined.

This was so long ago I don’t even know how I still remember most of the details. Definitely not a memory I’d like to remember in the first place though.

I spent a lot of time in that counselor’s office. I could go there any time I wanted and nobody could say anything about it because it was a faculty member’s office.

For the remainder of the year, I didn’t have any issues with anyone.

Another incident the following year

Now, remember when I said I was non confrontational? Well, the following school year, there was an incident with a different classmate.

She did something that really got under my skin and I blew up and called her a bitch. Well, apparently she didn’t like it and beat me up.

What I find funny is that the school made it seem like it was all my fault because I said a bad word.

She was suspended from school for a few days for throwing hands and I was placed in in-school suspension for saying a bad word.

The school said that what I said was unacceptable and therefore I was given some form of punishment for it.

Oh, right…

But when I was bullied the year before the school did NOTHING!

They literally had proof of the nasty things that were said to me. They told me I was just a victim of teenage foul play. 

For them, sending me to see a counselor but not disciplining the other girls was good enough.

But when I decided to stand up for myself and say I’ve had enough, despite what I said, I was at fault and got my ass beat!

Maybe not the smartest way to stand up for myself but as a 12/13 year old you don’t know any better.

Now as a mother, of a daughter nonetheless, I’m terrified because I know how nasty females can be at such a young age.

As a parent, all I can do is teach my child to be kind and respectful towards other kids and hope and pray that she never feels the need to bully another student.

There’s ways too many instances of bullying that led young teens to end their lives and that is truly unacceptable.

No person, young or old, should feel like they don’t deserve to be in this world because of the hurtful things somebody else said.

AS HUMANS, WE NEED TO PUT AN END TO BULLYING. TEACH OUR KIDS YOUNG, AND TEACH THEM TO BE KIND!

YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!